There are four main aspects of my life – Family, Religion, School, and Work. In balancing all four of these life gets into a rhythm. Generally they ebb and flow separately so that, at any one time, no more than one or two are “out of balance.” Within the last two months something odd has happened, three of the four have not only ebbed but have completely changed direction and there has been quite a bit of discussion about the fourth.
Here’s the Readers Digest version. Change #1: February 27th I lost my job. Being let go from an employer, even if I wasn’t extremely happy there, was difficult for me and at times I feel that the wound left by the knife, placed in between my shoulder blades very lovingly by my ex-boss, is still healing. My family and I were blessed when ten days later I had new employment. Adjusting to a new work place/work environment/job/industry can be a little daunting for someone as inexperienced with the world as I am. You could say that I got a late start in life. 23 when I got my first “real job” and 24 when I finally started college, I have little of what some people would consider “real life experience” though I feel that I have enough and then some. Point – loosing a job, looking, finding, then starting a new job is stressful for someone who has never had to do it with a wife and child before.
Change #2: In the LDS Church we have a lay ministry. Thus, every other position at the Ward (Parish) level is lay as well. Pay is not the issue. My wife and I had a calling to teach the Youth Sunday School class. We loved teaching them the Gospel of Jesus Christ that has been restored in our day. Nick, Austin, Jes, Ali, Kim, Ari, Valerie, Steven, Amanda – I loved watching how they absorbed what we taught them. It was so fulfilling to be an influence for good in a world that beats on kids every day. Just after I lost my job, we were released from our calling. This may sound silly but now church is just church.
Change #3: The school semester is winding down. I have thoroughly enjoyed my classes this semester. Critical Theory, Linguistics, and what has essentially become a Microsoft Office class, have kept me very busy most nights when I get home from work. Now, two of the three classes are all but done and the third is winding down. Not a bad thing but a change in the pace and rhythm of life none-the-less.
So, what is to be done? Adjust. When big changes happen I tend to look inward to myself until I feel that I’ve adjusted well enough, that I’m coping efficiently with the “way that life is” until it changes again. I need to readjust my focus.
Stress can lead to depression and depression is a fickle thing with me. I deal with it differently each time. Sometimes I become overly attentive of others, thus not thinking about myself and getting over it. Other times I turn inward, wanting to be alone to resolve my problems. The second option is not as doable these days. Withdrawing from my wife and son and losing myself on the Internet, reading whatever and researching whatever, is not a valid option as then my problem becomes their problem.
The focus will shift, life will improve, and the sun always rises the next day.